Struggling to feel Joyful and Happy?

Here is a photo of me and my first event “Taboos and Femininity” in 2018 held in Common Ground Bukit Damansara - I held space for self-expression for me and many others!

The famous Sufi poet Rumi says “Make peace with the universe. Take joy in it.

It will turn to gold. Resurrection will be now. Every moment, a new beauty”

So true. But I struggle with the part “Make peace with the universe. Take joy in it” more than you probably think I do. After all, I am a Spiritual Coach and I help Couples and Individuals build better relationships, why would I have issues… well.

Just like many of you, I once started on the path of wanting a stable relationship with stable job and stable family life. But I had this niggle from a very young age that something was not aligned. And this niggle was strong. I got a stable relationship, job and the beginnings of stable family life only to realise there was nothing stable about any of it. I defined a new meaning to the word “stable” – NUMB.

The only thing that had not yet numbed away was that niggle that something was not aligned. The thing is, I also knew the answer to what was not aligned but I did not want to accept it. Every time I felt the answer I would feel a little more joy and excitement. I would also feel more fear of how I would end up disappointing people around me if I paid more attention to myself. The latter meant I did not love myself.

That whole “hiding the niggle strategy” was a huge shadow aspect that was unconsciously running my life. It made me feel guilty about everything I did because I was lying to myself. The more I hid it, the greater the desire in me to explode into my emotions. One day I chose to stop lying. It wasn’t as if I begun to feel the support of the universe and joy and happiness straight away after. It took time because the conditioning of guilt on living my life my way was so deeply embedded into my body.

That niggle was simply reminding me that I had no space to express my emotions in my life. I simply did not know how to switch off from my work. My personality number was 8. We make the best employees because we love work. (Do you know your personality number?)

I needed to blog, to draw, to create meditations and healing events and workshops, the kind that some of you have attended. I needed to do things that allowed me to feel the energy of people and the universe around me such as tarot, astrology and spiritual coaching. I needed to wildly express my sexual self, but I was married to someone who had a traditional perspective to sex and I was the opposite.

Me distributing cacao for a heart-opening ceremony at my second event “Self-Love & Tantra” Bukit Damansara — Me distributing cacao for a heart-opening ceremony at my second event “Self-Love & Tantra” also at Common Ground Bukit Damansara in 2018.

That niggle was the universe constantly reminding me that I am nothing without true expression of my emotions. And that it is through my emotions that I will build a new world for me and for others. The challenge I still have is to create regular time and space to express more and more, because emotional expression is UNLIMITED. And when I don’t express, I feel disconnected from the universe.

If you are struggling to feel joy, happiness and a connection with the universe, have you created enough safety, space and time for you to express your emotions safely and regularly? Start today. With the planet Jupiter in the sign of Taurus right now, you will be guided by your heart to nurture your emotional self. Imbue everything you do with true feelings.

Book Recommendation : This month I finally finished Karma by Sadhguru – Part 2 of the book was the BEST.

So much lurrrvvvvvveeee

Sumeria Varin Gill